Sounding boards...

Its difficult to hold too many thoughts in mind.Its best to unleash at times,depending on time constraints of course. Need undisturbed space,time to do it though...

Was just watching younger,enthusiastic mothers how they must 'teach' their children the best be it values,winning/losing,and even mundane stuffs like handwriting(there are classes for it today!)Today's mothers are so focused,determined to give in their very best in parenting.Is it because the world has shrunk with no support system and they have barely other distractions other than immediate family and work(if any). They read,recommend  books,sites. Intuition,mostly stemming from being a mother,do not exist any longer. Forum discussions are also today's support system...sometimes even going to the lengths of prescribing medications.

Adolescent issues are dealt with after reading books or surfing the net.School counsellors are doing well too. But ask the latter how he/she was dealing with her kids,there is mostly not a very happy picture there.

How did our mothers solve issues? By calling up this aunt or that? Speaking about issues loudly about it too! Didn't we mostly learn by watching,making mistakes?Would I be wrong in saying we were less mollycoddled,protected? At least,I was amongst 3 siblings,me the girl amongst boys. That too made be very strong and more so because I lost my father very young and that he would jump to my defence once in a while untill my baby brother decided to announce his arrival!

Guess its all to do with generation comparison.We all do it at some point in life.Our mothers/in laws....all did it too! We at least can blog,give vent through written words!Or are we very good with words these days? Most have to tweet,debate,blog,FB....suddenly the social sites are our sounding boards!!!

1. 
   

Sounding boards...

Its difficult to hold too many thoughts in mind.Its best to unleash at times,depending on time constraints of course. Need undisturbed space,time to do it though...

Was just watching younger,enthusiastic mothers how they must 'teach' their children the best be it values,winning/losing,and even mundane stuffs like handwriting(there are classes for it today!)Today's mothers are so focused,determined to give in their very best in parenting.Is it because the world has shrunk with no support system and they have barely other distractions other than immediate family and work(if any). They read,recommend  books,sites. Intuition,mostly stemming from being a mother,do not exist any longer. Forum discussions are also today's support system...sometimes even going to the lengths of prescribing medications. There's do much informed all over how to parent a child. Ibhad no support system and a workaholic husband in tow. Trusted my gut while bringing them up. Maybe I was wrong most times than right but as I say all teachers,mothers are not born knowing it all but if you enjoy the role,you mostly get most issues right, right?

Adolescent issues are dealt with after reading books or surfing the net.School counsellors are doing well too. But ask the latter how he/she was dealing with her kids,there is mostly not a very happy picture there.

How did our mothers solve issues? By calling up this aunt or that? Speaking about issues loudly about it too! Didn't we mostly learn by watching,making mistakes?Would I be wrong in saying we were less mollycoddled,protected? At least,I was amongst 3 siblings,me the girl amongst boys. That too made be very strong and more so because I lost my father very young who
 would jump to my defence once in a while untill my baby brother decided to announce his arrival!

Guess its all to do with generation comparison.We all do it at some point in life.Our mothers/in laws....all did it too! We at least can blog,give vent through written words!Or are we very good with words these days? Most of us have to tweet,put up posts on FB,blog or are we becoming lonelier?

Vacuum previous pieces of my life...

I read books to them,telling stories of mother and child and my youngest is aware of it!
The nest today has been vacated and I miss the birdies sorely,very very sorely. In fact that's an understatement!!

People say being a mother is tough and challenging.I say,its very tough when the birdies leave. Bringing them up was somehow was a breeze and rather enjoyable. I watch the mother bird very keenly in the early morning hours and admire her attitude of 'move on!'

I used to be one of those moms who drove herself to the hospis for check ups,delivery all on her own. Husband had a demanding job. Never kept a nanny to look after them perhaps as I was brought up by one and noticed the job was always delegated. Gave up my job every time they were born and the workaholic best father(wonder how he did it really!) in the world,was nowhere to be seen most of the time. My mother didn't know,wouldn't know that she had to be there when I delivered. Well,she didn't fly down when I delivered my eldest overseas.In between I lost my second and I never shared! She came visiting much after the youngest was born and she left.
A friend whose in laws looked after her three,while she romped around the world constantly,cautioned me once,'wonder what you will do when they leave'. I understand today what she meant.

I miss them SO MUCH this afternoon! There is no logic,no explanation to why/how.

The Princess...

Kyra has stopped eating after the kids left.When its time to say goodbye,Kyra  always  looks indifferent...simply turns her head and looks the other way at the airport.Daughter asked many a time,'Mamma,will I see her again?' This time the daughter gifted herself and brother two stone clad golden retrievers brought carefully packed from the US.Brother bubble wrapped it all over again before carefully packing it in.Kyra came to us on daughter's 18th birthday,also on the day this house went on to become a two storeyed house..on Chaat Dhalai.

11 years ago we met her sister Jonaki at a local market.Jonaki's cuteness prompted me to ask her mistress where she had got her from.She guided us to Kyra and her siblings.One look and me and the kids knew which pup to take home out of the seven before us.Kyra would never let the children have physical fights.If they did,she would 'bark' them down,jumping on them to stop.Today she's hardly able to bark at a stranger!

Rambling....

House is all empty once again.Daughter visited for 22 days and stayed glued so much so that even slept with me.Son visited for two days,did the same.They all left together,with better half having to go to my favourite city as someone very dear passed away.With everybody leaving,Kyra ofcourse lived up to her reputation.She decided to fall sick!Fever is on the rise,can't make out much other than that.At times it seems as if something is stuck in her throat...the guttural sound is anything but pleasant.

Hate winter evenings....its all so quiet after 7.Went for a brisk walk after a long,long time as two falls in a row had incapacitated me.To think I fell on the eve of my 50th and then again a month back .Better half just had his eye surgery when I  decided to fall again for the second time,this time hurting most where my disc is.The massive house and the severe winter is delaying the healing too.

Injury and me are inseparable.Stationary motorbike falling on me,driver deciding to drive the car on my left foot and then again the heavy cart going over my left foot at Chandini Chowk ,the road accident driving me to surgery which never solved the problem...People have started taking me lightly when they know I've injured myself once again.Ma tells me not to hurry,better half advising me to wear more woollens.....

Rambling always helps but wonder how the mute help themselves.

Why? Yet again?

She has to always go through a lot of struggle before she finally achieves success. She was born that way too. Had a complicated pregnancy,was hospitalised numerous times,docs could'nt feel her even in my fifth month etc,etc. She was born overseas and overseas is where she always lands herself into trouble. The number of thefts/robberies she has had to go through is not funny.What I lost sleep on was that she literally had to beg for money for survival!  Today was another bad day when early morning I was told that her passport has 29th Feb,2014 as her expiry date when 2014 does not have a 29th.  Her job internship is almost about to slip away.

She cried on Skype,'Mamma,why can't things work out fine for once?'  I have been sitting all  tensed since then,all shaken and worried. Early morning her time far away she'll have to make her way to the Indian Embassy there.Since its a technical error on their part,hope it gets rectified soon and she does'nt lose the coveted internship.

My ma-in-law taught me NOJOR JHARA. The first time MIL did it on me,I giggled as a new bride. But today I do it on my family,thinking she's blessing them yet again. Feeling much better after penning down all this. Hope to God she maintains her brave front and sorts it with her usual efficiency.I asked her to be cool as she's not the one to tolerate inefficiency. Like mother,like daughter! To that she replíed, 'Today I might just about break down.' 

How would I know?

Homecoming,written in March,was lying in a draft.To write one must lead a lesser hectic life.All it needed was to push the 'publish' button which I pressed today.Strangely its time to vent my feelings yet again.

Daughter left two days back. The house seemed strange till our son decided to give us a two days' treat. He left a few hours ago.  The house doesn't seem nice at all. Kyra refuses to eat anything ,even her favourite MARIE remains untouched in a corner. Eyes seem teary and there seems to be dry tear stains running down her cheek.Tell her to be brave and she looks away,almost saying,' How would you know?' Daughter speaks to her on phone on reaching and she has the next meal and goes for a roll in the grass. Next meal she's back to square one. Guess got to cancel my swimming today.

When we go out without Kyra,we put on extra lights and definitely 98.4 FM.The other day,a visiting friend,found this immensely funny,especially when the whole family trooping out  discussed in the car that the present song playing was not Kyra's favourite. We got her hair trimmed too as daughter rightly pointed out 'let her go through everything in one go.' All dogs get depressed when their fur is cut. Funny people! I would love to have a crew cut in this heat and only if my husband did not sulk at the very mention. And yes,how would I know??!!